New Year’s Gym Resolutioners

A new year is upon us and that can only mean one thing… droves of newbies will swarm to the gyms like locusts.

If you happen to be among them, here are some simple rules that will make you less annoying to those of us who will still be there in March.

  1. Pay attention and stay out of the way. You are not the only person there and chances are if you bump into someone when they are lifting you will become the focus of their rage.
  2. Put your fucking weights back when you’re done with them. Nobody wants to be stepping over your shit.
  3. If the gym is crowded, super setting doesn’t work. Don’t be the dick that ties up multiple machines and benches. Other people are trying to get some work in too.
  4. Go somewhere else to text. If you’re able to text while doing your crunches you’re just wasting space.
  5. Stay the fuck out of the squat rack unless you’re actually going to SQUAT (OHPs are acceptable as well. BICEP CURLS ARE NOT)
  6. If you’re taking a class, you are most likely in the spot of someone who has been there for a while. (That one is for my wife!)
  7. Don’t be a creeper. Nuff said.
  8. If you must chat, do it somewhere else.
  9. Before moving in on a piece of equipment, take a moment to see if there are any signs of it being in use. Perhaps even ask.
  10. Clean up your sweat puddle.
  11. If you are grunting you better be moving some impressive weight. If you are new to the gym – you’re not moving some impressive weight so shut up.
  12. No one cares if your shoes match your outfit.

Many people are intimidated by gyms and gym culture but most would find that it’s usually a fairly open and supportive community. Everybody has to start somewhere and every regular was once a newb. If you pay attention to your surroundings, check the ego at the door, and are willing to learn you will be fine. It’s the ones who blow through like they own the place but clearly have no experience that really gets under everyone’s skin.
Year after year there is an influx of new members that come in and take over the place but come February, most of them are gone. If you’re still there in March, you’re working hard and not being a dumbass, people will notice and you will earn respect and the right to be annoyed by the newbs next year.



~ by steamcrypt on December 31, 2012.

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