One… Two…

Rorschachs Freddys Comin’ for You


The next property to be bought by Disney?

It has become painfully clear that Hollywood has run out of ideas for new films and has resorted to a constant slew of remakes and ridiculous sequels to keep the money flowin’ and movie goers “delighted” with “new and innovative visions”, “previously drawn out story lines combined into a simpler story” and “other things that go in quotations”.

We have grit our teeth through remake after rehash, some great, some not so great, some that feel like a real life version of Saw… but with Miley Cyrus as Jigsaw and the Jonas Brothers as the hack saws.

Recently there has been a large number of horror icon remakes.  What is a “Horror Icon” you ask?  Well, its the same two words, but now new and improved with BOLD, ITALICS and QUOTATIONS””””””!  We have seen a new Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a new Michael Myers in Halloween, a new Jason in Friday the 13th and now, a new Freddy in A Nightmare on Elm St.   With any luck we will see a Hellraiser, Killer Tomato and maybe even a Ghoulies remake.  (Those little toilet gremlins still bother me.  They remind of my uncle Dave who used to hide in outhouses as a “surprise” drink a lot)


Frightening I know.

April 30th, 2010 is a date that many of us horror fans have been anxiously awaiting or dreading depending on your views of horror remakes.  Jackie Earle Haley, currently best known for his portrayal of Rorschach in Watchmen, will be dawning the Fedora and Not-Safe-For-Children-or-Me Glove O’ Sharp.

Thankfully I have a lot more faith in Jackie than I did in the last person to wear a glove of knives…celebrity-pictures-johnny-depp-emo-wolverine

Anyway, the new trailer is out and being the horror geek I am, I am rather anxious to see this.  I will spare you my opinions of the other remakes (I LIKED THEM, NOW PISS OFF!) because I don’t feel it holds any place in this article.

Go watch the trailer and bitch about in the comments because I know you will.

Wah wah wah, they changed the story.  Wah wah wah, its not Robert Englund.  Wah Wah Wah, Freddy goes by Fredrick.   Wah wah wah, its gonna be rated PG.  Shut up and go to your room.

Miley Cyrusghoulies



~ by steamcrypt on September 28, 2009.

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